The Waiting


I feel a great change.
I feel it coming soon.
The waves of power cascade.
Like the ocean to the moon.

In the motion there is a calm.
That breath before a scream.
In my mind I whisper psalms.
My respite is but a dream.

The future rushes in silence.
The wind sings out our doom.
We're a step behind this dance.
The music stops too soon.

I think I'd save this world.
And offer one more spin.
If the choice was mine to hold.
But that hope is gone again.

J.

Warm sun.
Sweet rain.
Soft wind.
No pain.

For a while
I felt it all
Heard the whisper
Heed the call.

Part of this world,
Touching connected.
Then life changed.
I was selected.

Cut away.
Burned, reborn.
Cold and dead.
Forever torn.

Pain inside,
holds me tight.
Black agony,
blocks out light.

Looks the same.
But it's all a lie.
I see the world
Through distant eyes.

Time echoes
in my mind.
Never go back
Alone, left behind.


J

Regret & Purpose

Jolyn is still away. I could not get back to sleep for thinking of her and all she'll be facing. Instead I lie here and think of past terrors and things I could have, perhaps should have done. So many nightmares I've seen or lived through. I think of each and consider a thousand different outcomes.

Perhaps I'm not quite as cold and dead inside as I thought. This regret I feel offers a sliver of hope. When I'm finally freed from this cave, maybe I will be able to offer more than my duty as Daegynrok. I think Vinola would want me to be more than just a destroyer. I think I would like that too.

J

A Rumble

It's been a long cold winter. For some reason I fell back into old habits of sleeping through most of it. Poor Jolyn acted annoyed but I think in truth she's been relieved.

A few days back I woke to a tremble in the earth. The disturbance was easy to recognize as an earthquake, one far away from my prison. After a while the ground settled once more but still I listened. Tremors that big don't end quietly. No, they end in blood and death.

Hours passed. Then I heard the TV. Jolyn flipped through channel after channel and even without joining her I knew what she saw. Not long after that, she came to me, and made me proud.

"I'm going to help."

She didn't bother to explain. I didn't act like I needed an explanation. She still cares for the people and still wants to help them. I envy her that compassion. I don't feel it anymore myself. I suspect that even if I could leave this cave I wouldn't go to those people in need. But Jolyn is still good inside. And for that I am glad.

When she comes back, she'll cry and rant. But time will heal what disasters like that break in a soul. She'll come back to me broken but stronger. And I'll still be here, still the same.

Until she returns I sleep.

J