Beaten and subdued

Haven't been on the blog in a while. I probably shouldn't be here now either considering my current mood. Yet here I am because Jolyn won't hang out and let me rant at her.

She, the rotten beast, is out on a date. She went out on a night that we usually watch Heroes together. Okay, to be honest we don't watch it together every episode, but I expected to watch this one together and she wasn't here.

She said, and I quote, "Watch it with Sam, but don't char his fur". As if I would hurt the dumb dog. She doesn't understand why Sam stays with me. Neither do I really.

I guess I should explain where Sam came from first... Jolyn found him in a box by a dumpster on campus the week after New Years. She figured he was an unwanted Christmas gift. Why am I not surprised that some human out there threw away a living creature? I'm not because I've seen it over and over again.

Jolyn was surprised and brought the gangly puppy home to our cave. I think she would have loved the little monstrosity, but instead he became my shadow. At first I found it a bother to always have Sam so close, but now...well he is good company and makes no demands on me.

One thing I have learned about Sam is that his previous home was not a pleasant one. He may have been there only a few weeks, but it left a lasting fear in him. If I move too quickly around him, he looks at me as one who is about to be beaten. I know that look and have seen it often enough before. I even wore that emotion for a time. For Sam it is not in his nature to rebel against his tormentor. I wonder if that might have been an easier course for myself. I will never know because it has never been in my nature to accept cruelty or even authority.

So little Sam with his long gangly legs and his tan colored body still cowers when I'm angry. But he doesn't cower as much as he once did and Jolyn thinks that I show more restraint to save Sam undue fear. She may be right.

Jerdin
with Sam laying on my right foot.